Exhaustion!

I always thought of having something I can share to everyone through blogging, may it be a poem, a news, an essay piece, or just any write-up. But when I'm already in front of the computer, I will ran out of words to say. Now, I'm really trying to formulate something, call it "pamugos", but it's the way it is.

After months of silence, I am now coming with words to tell. Though with no exact thought to share. I was really busy the past months, studying, reviewing, making projects, and all the school stuffs in line with me, I was awakened by my senses that this was the field that I chose to take, to be an "ACCOUNTANCY" student. I was now in the second year, and for me, the battle has just started. I haven't feel the same pressure as this before, I don't have this urge to open an accounting book before, it seemed to be as easy as playing to me. But now, call it hard and I call it "a matter between life and death".

Staying at the library for a couple of hours everyday just to have that peace of mind and confidence to enter the classroom fully-equipped with the knowledge and the answers of the questions of the "VALIX" and "EMPLEO" accounting books. Reading all that is needed to be read just to pass all the quizzes and the exams. But I still don't know if I was successful enough. Having all those heavy and thick reviewers just to assure a shameless examination results doesn't gave me a favorable outcome. Was it my fault if those books had become the most effective SLEEPING PILLS in this world? Oh....come on!

Prelim grades was released, midterms grades were given. It was enough but not satisfactory. So, I need to work more, need to study harder, need to strive even harder.

Semi-final exams are almost over, happy that accounting exams were done, minor subjects to go. Happy enough with the result of the accounting part 1 and part 2 exam. I realized that it's better not to study that hard, for the answers won't complicate your mind. Just read and understand, don't find complications. A month or less from now and it will be the finals, the judgment time. Hopefully I can make it. Please pray for me.

Now, I'm sick! I have my flu. This is maybe the effect of the two chapter projects I have done for three sleepless nights and five tiring days, the exam pressure, the swimming class, the endless reporting scheme, the non-stop quizzes and assignments, setting aside the personal agenda I have with me.

Blame it to accounting why I have not wrote posts during the past months. LOL! But I'm just really serious with my studies now. I'm setting aside all the not-so-important matter. First things first. Knowing my priorities. I'm trying to balance my studies and my rest. I don't care about the lifestyle. And I don't care more if they call me a "nerd" or a library buddy. I mean, it's my life, it's my chosen life.
Call it "corny" or call it "OA", but, you won't understand what we feel unless you will experience what we had went through. Yet, at the end, success will come to people who systematically exploit their abilities and potentials and systematically assess and optimizes their performance.

The best summer ever!

Having the mind set of experiencing the most of this summer had brought so much of pressure to me, it was because of the idea that this summer could be the last summer I could spend with my friends. But I set that idea aside and tried to be optimistic in a way. I really hope it is not the last, cause actually, it's my first summer with them.

Last Friday, May 1 (Yes, a holiday), we went to Canibad in Samal Island for a bonding and a sort of an outing. It was really fun at first, as we rode on the bus, on the boat, and finally on the motorcycle, in short, the first half of the ride was great. Until, I was burnt by the exhaust pipe of that sh*** motorcycle we're riding which ruined my experience. But I never let it turn my day out.

My first hours there was a lil bit rude, maybe because of the burn I got. I was the first one who went to the beach and bathe there. A sign that I am excited, so excited. 

It was getting dark when we started to chat about life, we were all talking about the funny experiences the whole year round. Then we created a bonfire by late night, it was so good to know that in the island we were the only group who successfully created fire. And as the fire heats our body after the night swimming, they also started to enjoy some liquors, that was an exemption though. I was getting  myself out from drinking because I know my condition, but some of them is trying to convince me and even tabooed me for that. So I was challenged to drink and drink and drink, and later I was drunk. And the rest of the story was history, it was a secret.

The next morning, we woke up early and the rest who never got the chance to sleep at night fell into a deep sleep. As usual, I was the one who went swimming first and the rest followed. When the rest woke up, we went to the other side of the island for some adventure trip, and guess what? I jumped from a high rock towards the deep sea, it was an advantage that I knew how to swim. That was really one of the most memorable experiences there. It was a daredevil-like deed that I've done.

We went home by Saturday night, and Sunday was a day for rest.

The next day, Monday, I got a trip to Montserrat in Sigaboy, somewhere in Davao Oriental. My cousin just invited me to come with her as she visits her relatives in the other side of the family. It was an almost five-hour-trip from Davao.The traveling experience was a total haven for me, I am loving it. I stayed there for about four and a half day, and it was a good experience, I learned and got to try a lot of things there, like grinding coconut, eating some first-time foods, and the word "Arot" which is really funny. So funny.

My summer was complete because of those things. And it could be more complete by what I'll be experiencing tomorrow, my high school classmates invited me for an outing.

Life is indeed full of surprises. It is magical.

a walk to remember

It was a totally remarkable night. Heavy rain, flood, wet clothes.
I was really pissed off by what had happened last night. I called up my highschool friend about 5:30 in the afternoon to inform her that I'm coming to an event in which she participated, cause she texted me prior to that (inviting me to come). It was supposedly 6 p.m.(no rain yet), but I watched American Idol, so I was delayed for about two hours.
When I came rushing to the venue, it started raining, though not that heavy. But when I finally get out from the taxi I'm riding, the heavy rain started to pour heavily. That was so disgusting because I dropped at the nearest convenience store to buy something. It was so bad that I have to walk in the rain while my shoes was filled with water, my socks were totally wet, my clothes were also wet, I was extremely washed by the rain. But what's even bad is that I have to walk against the vehicles in the street because it's a one-way street. Imagine that? With yourself finding it hard to walk because of the flood and because of the people that's sure to be laughing at you.
But when I arrived at the venue, I saw those special children with their smiles (well, that's the event I'm talking about, The Camp Pag-asa, a 10-day camp for special children), I was really moved by those children who performed in the stage amidst their difficulties and differences. It has all paid-off. I even forgot that I'm totally wet. By the end of the night, I accompanied one of those special children to went back to their camp, she was on a sleigh because her other foot was cut by some reason I haven't bothered to ask.
After that thing, the rain was still on, but I have to go home, the jeepneys were all full, taxis were hard to find. But I managed to went home with all conviction.
That was a disastrous yet a very wonderful night. Awesome!

is it supposed to be summer?

For some reasons which are hard to explain, I felt this certain attachment to what I was used to do. It may follow the way it is, but I can't seem to find enough reason which I wanted to believe. I may be too hard to please this time but all I know is just I'm trying to find the right answer to my complex questions.
It was about late 9:30 a.m. when I woke up this morning, ate my breakfast, texted my friends, and went back to the life I have to face for one week. I was not bored, all I felt was emptiness in me, I just really missed schooling. But when i'm in school during school days, all I wanted is to rest and pamper myself. Isn't that ridiculous?
It's really hard to face abrupt changes and transitions in life, you will find it hard to adjust and find the best spot of comfort for your living. Now, I don't exactly know what to do, after I finish this blog, I got nothing more to do. I'm fed up facing the television everyday and listening to the sound of  the radio every other hour.
Is there something more fun to do now aside from malling, chit chatting, DVD marathon? It's summer time. I'm excited, yet, I'm bored.

Time of their lives

Today is their Graduation Day. For sure they are happy, they are glad, and they are delighted for the victory they had finally achieved. But I opted not to go and witness their graduation rites because of some unexplainable thoughts and feelings. I know, all of these are inevitable and unfathomable.
They have been a BIG part of my life. They've shown me some of the things I had never seen before. They taught me to socialize. They imposed to me that there's nothing wrong in trying. And they taught me to trust and have friends. I must admit, without them, I can't be the person I am today. For that short span of time, I have learned a lot of things, and they have taught me more than what I've learned for the 16 years of being with myself. They have contributed so much of the "warjie" people is seeing now.
HAPPY GRADUATION to all of you! You deserved to be happy and victorious.
(Hoy shelu, this is in no particular order ha, hatagan baya nimo dayon ug meaning,wala ni top2x)
To Shelu...
Thanks for everything! Eventhough I hated the way you treat me sometimes(about Orochimaru). I really appreciated everything you have done, the friendship that you had never risked for other purposes, the times that you comfort me when I felt alone and lonely, the times when you tried to help whenever I'm in great trouble. You have let me realized that friendship is not about everything you want but something you need.
To Owmeek...
Your comforting words helped me to realize that I really have nothing to worry, that I got more than what I have lost. Thanks for those comforting words. Thanks for the life's lessons you have shared on me. Thanks for the best friendship you have given me. Thanks for the guidance and the advices.
To Puppie...
For the times we talked about life, about studies, about everything, I got something from it. Though I can't expect you to talk about those serious stuffs, I still found the heart on those long conversations. Thanks for riding with me home in the jeep, thanks for the talks and for defending me oftentimes. Thanks for always being there when there's a lot of dog in the way(hehehe). And above all, thanks for being a good emo friend.
To Hannah...
Though I am irritated every time you call me "maya" or "jubang", I am still appreciative of the efforts and the friendship you have shared with me. I'm now getting used of you calling me those funny labels, all I got to do with it is laugh. Han, thank you for being a very nice friend. I am really happy that I have knew you in such a way everyone knows you and maybe even deeper. You gave me reasons why should I continue giving myself the fulfillment of a lifetime base on how you lived your life. Thanks for sharing me some of those endless thoughts and those unforgettable times. It means so much to me.
To Owen...
For all the advices regarding studies and how to deal with life, thank you. Thanks also for being a friend. You have given me the idea of how should I live my life in the future in lieu with my studies by how you lived your student life.
To Pia...
Sharing my thoughts and my story is a hard thing for me to do, really hard. But it has been so easy for me to do it with you. I don't exactly know the reason why but I'm comfortable talking with you regarding serious stuffs and emo thoughts. Thank you so much for listening to me every time I'm sharing it with you. Thanks for the advices and for the trust. Thank you also for the times you have trusted me with some of your confidential questions regarding love and about us men. Thanks for the warm accomodation every time we stayed at your house.
TO ALL OF YOU, MY HEARTFELT THANKS......for the friendship and for everything!
The life ahead of you is more complicated and more challenging, and for that, I wish you all the best there is to life and expect that you will all be part of my prayers.
CONGRATULATIONS to all of you and GOOD LUCK!!!
Superfriends forever!!!!

Unexpectedness's

Indeed, life is full of surprises. And whatever it was that happened, it will surely be part of the road someone is taking.
High dose of pressure and countless encounters, looking forward to what will ensue as the day continues. All that happened today will be a part of "yesterday" as the sun rises tomorrow. Setting aside the gratuitous aura embodied in the person of no one, the reluctance that once felt, the anger that overcame the totality, the pain that obscured the emotions, the scheme that changed it all.
Living in a world prompted by constant changes, it is sometimes impossible to aim for something better in life, for failure is half-achieved. But will giving a try make sense? Yes? Maybe.
I guess, there's nothing wrong with how life goes. It is just really challenging. But what's the use of learning if there's no failure and pain? Life's greatest lesson are best learned through experiences, through failure, through pain, through your own.
We meet different people everyday, we experience different things every tick of the clock; we are constantly learning, through our mistakes and through the mistakes of others. We can't say that we knew everything behind the superficial of this world. Apparently, we are just part of that "everything" we used to say, the realms behind every status quo, the face behind every mask.
Why or Why not?
For what?
Will it be?
Will it make sense?
Will it do?
What if?
What if not?
How?
Why?
Really?
------
-----
----
---
--
-
The answer still lurks in your story. It's you who knows it best. Not him, not her; not me, not them, it's YOU! And only you.
Done telling your story? Or are you just starting? Or maybe your in the midst of revealing your beautiful story?
Either ways, you have to plot your own story. Now or never, before it's too late!

life in life

Excruciating!

Tiring!

Exhausting!

After the exam preparation, the exam, their (their???) retreat, and all those things that compensates my whole week, it’s time to pamper myself with enough rest. Rest? Sighs, I really wish I have enough time to sleep amidst this research paper (regarding the 2010 Philippine Election) I’m trying to make now. I have no choice but to finish this now and submit it on Monday (when in fact, the deadline was Wednesday of this week, Feb 25). I was just given the chance to pass it late because of some reason. That’s why whether I like it or not, I should be finishing it by Monday.

I must admit, I can consider this week as one of the most terrible week in my life. I was shivering due to the coldness of the Annex Library during my stay there for about a quarter-day. The way my accounting exam (PS) had turned out. The unexpected encounters, the talked-about text message, the reported actions. Everything. Absolutely everything!

Well, I’m looking forward for our Church session tomorrow wherein I will not be thinking anymore of the research paper (because by that time, it must be done), and aside from that, I just want to have time to let my emotions be lifted to Him.

Monday will open the new week for me, hope it will turn out good and fine. I really hope so!

leave out all the rest

Emotions are bursting.
Countless fears hinder me on broadening my views in life.
We make investment every other way, we engage ourselves into something we thought can make our lives better. We succeed, we failed, most importantly, we LEARNED.
"We should possess the OTHER on us", as what Paulo Coehlo wrote in his book. We should always be ready to conquer our fears and hurdle every challenge that can possibly come our way, in short, we should always BE READY to be hurt and accept every consequence that corresponds to the action we have taken.
(So much of the introduction....)
Do you feel what I felt? Probably not. So, there would be no enough sense for me to talk about anything that clogs everything in place.
But I really have to. I don't know why but...

----
---
--
-
(emooooooo)
There are many things in this world reserved for us, we should not take seriously the realms existing, there's so much in the world that awaits us. Is there really?
Any relationship entails TRUST. And trust entails a lot of things. Is trust easy to gain? Or is it easier to give?
I've given my trust. But I don't know if I received some. I've shared my thoughts and my queries, tried to converse even if I'm reluctant to speak for what I felt, and tried to please every single guilt. But have I done my part? Does the story unfolds what I deserve? Will it end the way fairytales of Edgar Allan Poe or Hans Christian Andersen ended? I REALLY DON"T KNOW. Everything was drown with vagrancy, so contrast to the assurance I felt before.
I'm afraid to fail, I'm afraid to get back on the way I've taken before (it's not what you think), is everything tantamount to all the doubts I felt? Or I just need to take another step forward instead of going back, will I do it, then?
But lately, I've realized what I should realize. There is really more to life than what prevailed in the past, it is better and more worthy of being treasured and kept. What do I mean? I've got the bests of friends this world had. The people who know how to accept you as you are, the people who understand your jokes, the people who understand your feelings, your emotions, and the people who never left you behind. I must admit, I faced circumstances just recently, but we fixed the crippled part with ease and considerations (and I hope we understand each part of the story now). I've learned to extend the premise of my understanding, of my discerning abilities, and not to close doors for any possibility.
I've learned from my mistakes, and from what I went through. It's not easy, but now, I'm willing to take another step towards discovering the candor of the new dimension.

after all

its been quite a long time....

it's more than a month ago when i last updated both my friendster and this account (MULTIPLY), there are just stupid reasons that interfere me on updating it....but so much to that...

i got lot of tings to do just to improve everything on my account, i have not write my reviews yet, my funny and serious experiences, i haven't even posted the latest trailers of the must-see movies this year....Hahaiz, its really frustrating, but its ok...i will do it, and i got to do it sooner or later.......

laughs

Back to school; back to basics.....

Sighs
The long vacation is over (actually, it's not that long, it's just 2 weeks)
I'm quite excited to see my classmates again and to see those same old faces. But I'm still hooked with the vacation spree, I want more (laughing). I was bit frustrated since I have not made it last January 1 (new year) to the annual tradition of my new friends (a sort of an outing). It could have been my first time. The reason is that, my mom and dad did not allow me to go and I thought that it will be cancelled since I haven't heard abything about it. And another reason is that, I wasn't able to receive Ms. J's text message for my phone's batt were dead that time. (sighs)
But moving on, I know there's enough reason why I haven't made it that time. But whatever reason it is, I really don't know. What I have done the whole time (from Jan. 1 up to hmmmmmm) is read books (sounds like I'm a book worm. am I really? Well, I'm just fond of it since then and I'm into reading even before (but not that much book)). I'm trying to finish the book by Paulo Coehlo, the one with the title "The Alchemist", which I thought spelled alchemies (the plural for alchemy). I am not done with it and I hope I can finish it within this day.
Tomorrow is the day. Klase na naman. Quizzes are waiting for me.
I'm actually doing some of my homeworks now, so got to focus on it, folks. Till next time.!